


Stay the Same

by Moxley_Mox018



Category: WWE, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Daddy Dean, Downgrading, F/M, Jealous Seth, M/M, Sad Seth, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Content, Slight Violence, emotional isues, insecure Seth, lots of feels, slight homophobia, slight self harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-06-21 18:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moxley_Mox018/pseuds/Moxley_Mox018
Summary: Renee Young and Dean Ambrose broke up five months ago when Renee found Dean cheating on her with a certain dark haired man. When Renee comes back and drops a huge bombshell on the boys, what will happen to their relationship?





	1. Chapter 1

To say the least, Seth’s day, (aka the worst day of his life), had started off with a bang. Literally.

They had been nestled up together in bed, sharing lazy morning kisses. Both had had a long night consisting of beer, music, and sex after they had yet again snagged the tag team championship belts on Raw. It was safe to say they were hoping for a recovery day.

Seth giggled softly, a nasally but sweet noise that lit up Dean’s world, as the auburn haired man tickled his sides. They had been together around 5 months now, after Dean and Renee had a huge blowout. She had caught them in a utility closet during a show, Seth’s dick deep in Dean’s eager mouth. Let’s just say she wasn’t too thrilled about it.

Dean would admit that what he had done was wrong. He really did love Renee, but what he had with Seth was something that he had never felt before in his life. Their chemistry was electric, sparks shot through Dean’s being anytime he was able to get his hands on Seth. Whether it be little touches, chaste kisses, or the gentle sex, the sparks never stopped flying. He never ever wanted to have to give that up, so he didn’t, even though he knew he could’ve ended things a different way between him and Renee. Seth knew that some days the guilt that he felt still plagued him. Especially when they’d go to work and see the bubbly blonde’s replacement, a brunette named Charly.

No one knew exactly what had happened to Renee. She had just up and left one day, leaving everyone in surprise and in question. Especially Dean. Seth had watched Dean internally rip himself apart during those days. He was doing much better now though, as the pain and guilt slowly eased out of his system.

Seth should’ve known that his boyfriend’s new found internal peace wasn’t going to last long.

The banging on the door had surprised them both to say the least. But what really had surprised them, was who was waiting for them on the other side.

Renee Young, in a pair of black yoga pants and an old grey hoodie stood there, an angry scowl on her face. Her hand rested on a distinct baby bump that made Seth’s blood run cold.

“Renee?” Seth watched from over Dean’s shoulder as the surprise crept onto his boyfriend’s handsome face.

“Dean,” she gave him a quick nod before she invited herself in.

Seth gently shut the door behind her as his boyfriend focused on the angry blonde in the room.

“W-what’re you doing here? Where have you been?” Dean stuttered, following Renee to the living room.

“Well thanks to you, I’ve been at home binge eating ice cream and watching myself blow up like a balloon,” Seth heard her explain to Dean.

He hadn’t bothered to follow them just yet. His anxiety had already begun to climb from her unexpected visit. That and he had a feeling he already knew what she was here for. And he didn’t like it one bit. 

“What are you talking about?” Dean looked at her as if she was talking nonsense.

“I mean that I’m pregnant and it’s yours you idiot,” Renee spat at him, making Seth wince at the venom in her voice.

“H-how? We haven’t been together for over 5 months..,” Dean stuttered, still in utter shock. Seth noticed the slight shake Dean’s body was starting to give and he slowly helped him sit down.

“You’re the last person I slept with before I caught you with his dick in your mouth,” Renee shot a glare over at Seth, who looked down in his own shame.

Just because Dean didn’t regret leaving Renee, doesn’t mean Seth felt the same. 

“Why would you wait until now to tell me?,” Dean stared at her as Seth rubbed his shoulders soothingly. It wasn’t doing much to calm Dean, but it sure was helping Seth keep himself together.

“I didn’t want you to know,” Renee took on a softer, almost guilty tone. 

“You didn’t want me to know.. about my own baby growing inside of you,” Dean’s voice started to raise, causing Seth to tense up all over again.

“Dean, please.. it’s not what you-“ he cut her off.

“In case you forgot Renee, I didn’t have a father figure in my life. He left when he found out my mother was pregnant with me. He didn’t want the responsibility that came with having a baby. I swore to myself that one day if I ever had a kid, I’d be the father that my father never was for me.. and you wanted to keep it from me? After you knew more than half of the shit that I’ve been through?” Seth felt his heart ache a little as Dean unleashed his feelings. 

He had known all about Dean’s past. He had spent countless nights soothing his boyfriend from the nightmares that woke him up at night. Dean only told these things to the people that he truly loved and trusted. Seth didn’t know how Renee could ever do anything like this to him.

“I know Dean.. and I’m so, SO, sorry for not telling you. I’ll admit that I did it because I was stupid, and selfish. I was so hung up on the fact that you didn’t want me anymore that I thought it was a good idea,” she said softly, her brown eyes staring down at the carpet.

Seth felt as Dean’s shoulders sagged a little underneath his hands. It was nice to know that Dean could relax in a situation like this while Seth still felt like he was on high alert. 

A soft sigh escaped Dean’s lips before he decided to speak again.

“I understand. And I guess now would be the time to apologize, even though I know I should’ve done that a long, long, LONG time ago,” Dean started, his hands wrestling each other out of nervousness.

“I just wanna know why Dean,” Renee said softly, lifting her gaze to meet Dean’s, making Seth’s heart beat quicker.

“Well, it’s hard to explain really,” Dean started, his eyes leaving Renee’s to focus on a half empty glass on the coffee table.

“I just, I really enjoyed our time together Renee, I truly did. I loved you so much. But at the same time, I just had this pull towards Seth. It started as something small, easy enough that I could control it. Over time though, my attraction towards him just intensified. I found myself getting lost in everything about him. I’d watch him as he was deep in his own little world as he listened to his god awful screaming music, or while he was concentrating while he warmed up for a match. I just felt a certain fondness for him,” Dean smiled at the memories, slowly glancing up at his other half.

Even though Dean had insulted him by calling his music god awful, Seth couldn’t help but blush like a teenage girl. He glanced down at his feet, feeling Dean take his hand and give it a gentle squeeze before he continued on.

“One night, when him, Roman, and I were out partying, it all just kinda happened in a blur. I had had a bit too much to drink, and so did he.. normally if you’d ask him to dance, he’d decline because he’s a shy little shit sometimes, but the girls had managed to get him to dance somehow. Just seeing him let loose and dance under those bright ass lights, I realized that I had never seen anything more beautiful. So I did what I had been craving for months.. After we went back to the room, I kissed him. And things just kind of fell in place after that. It was all so strange, but I don’t think I’d want it any other way.. I’m in love with him Renee,” he whispered the last part, the words making the heat rush to Seth’s cheeks once again.

Seth had watched as Renee looked on at the both of them before gazing down at the hands in her lap. He could tell she wasn’t expecting Dean’s words, and to be honest, neither was he, but he still loved hearing it. 

“I don’t think you understand just how much it hurts me to hear that Dean,” she said, sadness evident in her voice.

“Renee, I kno-,” Dean started, only to get cut off by the blonde.

“No Dean. You don’t!,” she yelled, making Seth jump.

Seth’s heart rate picked up as Renee stood up, pointing an angry finger at his boyfriend. His feet involuntary moved him back a bit while his mind frantically looked for an escape.

“I loved you so much. I sacrificed so much for you only to find out you’re fucking that twink behind my back! Now I’m pregnant with your baby. The baby of the man who cheated on me. Who tore my heart out and destroyed it right in front of me. How do you think that makes me feel Dean? How do you think it would make our daughter feel?” Renee’s voice dropped at the last sentence. 

A girl. A beautiful little girl. Dean was going to have a daughter. The ringing in his ears had nothing on the broken feeling in Seth’s heart.

He felt his feet move as his stomach gave a lurch. He had barely made it down the hall before the first round of vomit hit the dark hardwood flooring. A sob left his throat as he dropped to his hands and knees. Another round of vomit forced its way out of Seth’s mouth as he cried. 

Dean was having a daughter, with Renee. Not him. He was going to forget about Seth and go back to his real family. He was going to go back to his ex. The negative thoughts swirled around in Seth’s head as he threw up a third time. 

He wheezed a little as he slowly lowered himself down into his puddle of vomit. His body felt weak, his head felt numb, and his heart felt broken. 

Salty tears fell from his eyes as he sobbed. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t breathe, and he was laying in his own vomit. Before too long, the overwhelming darkness consumed him. The painful feeling of loneliness lingering along after he went out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth’s head is full of fear and doubt as the thought of Dean leaving him plague his mind. Dean reassures him that he’s stuck with him for a long, long, time to come.

The chill of the floor tiles was enough to wake Seth up from his unpleasant slumber on the bathroom floor. A soft grunt left his lips as he wiped the pure exhaustion from his eyes, hoisting his tired body up into a sitting position.

The bathroom floor has been his bed for the most part of the past two weeks. His anxiety had kicked in full swing as things had started to change little by little. It had all started with him going to bed in his own bed. Over the course of the night, the nightmares would start. 

He’d dream of terrible outcome his mind could think of. He’d wake up sweaty and nauseous. Since his stomach had always been a bit on the weaker side, they had him running for the bathroom.

The first few nights, Dean had been hot on his tail after Seth had went running from the room. He’d sit with Seth, tying his hair into a messy bun of the top of his head before he rubbed gentle circles onto his back. After the first three night however, Seth could tell Dean was more reluctant to follow. After the fifth night, Dean had stopped coming all together. He had never brought it up to him in the morning, he just stopped coming. 

Seth sighed as he slowly picked himself up off the bathroom floor, his eyes glancing at his worn face in the mirror. He looked and felt like absolute hell. He at least attempted to get himself into some kind of order before he went to lay back in his and Dean’s bed.

Tears welled up in Seth’s eyes as he found their bed empty. It hurt him even more to find that the bed was cold as well. Dean must’ve been gone awhile. A simple call from Renee was enough to send his boyfriend right out the door and right into the arms of his ex lover.

Seth admired how attached to the baby Dean was already. It made him undoubtedly jealous though. For one, he was spending more time with Renee. He knew better than to ever doubt Dean, but sometimes he found his thoughts wandering far enough to wake his fears right back up.

The other thing that made him jealous, which he hated to admit, was the baby. 

Seth had always dreamed of having his own family someday. He always wanted the typical American life, well, as typical as it would get with living the fast paced life of a professional wrestler. A beautiful two story house in his hometown, with the love of his life and maybe a kid or two. Maybe even a dog or two. It was what he always wanted, even before he came out as gay.

He knew his dream of having his own family someday would be severely altered. A man couldn’t get pregnant. Those types of things only happened in the fan fiction stories that his teenage fangirls wrote on the internet. That didn’t stop him from dreaming what it would be like though.

He would give anything to have that kind of life with Dean. He’d love to be expecting a baby girl. She’d have Dean’s baby blue eyes with Seth’s dark curly hair. If she was lucky, she’d inherit her auburn haired father’s dimples that Seth loved dearly. 

A small smile made its way onto his sad features as he thought about it. He could see himself being the stricter parent, while Dean would be the fun dad. They’d love her dearly. Too bad that would never, ever, happen.

The tears that had been waiting to fall, had finally started to spill at the thought. He wanted that more than anything, but instead his boyfriend was having a baby with his ex girlfriend. Seth didn’t think there was anything that could ever help him get over this one. 

********************************************

Dean could tell there was something up with Seth. It for sure was no secret. 

Ever since the day Renee had dropped the bomb on them that Dean was going to be a father, Seth’s behavior had slowly been starting to change. 

For starters, as soon as Renee had mentioned that they were going to have a daughter, Seth had disappeared. Dean had found him about 15 minutes later, passed out in a puddle of his own vomit. He made sure to be gentle in helping Seth get cleaned up and nestled safely back into their bed. 

The next few nights, Seth had ended back up in the bathroom, throwing up whatever he had eaten in catering. Dean didn’t understand why it was happening, or how. Seth wasn’t sick, or else he wouldn’t be wrestling night in and night out. The trainers definitely wouldn’t allow it either. 

He watched on as Seth pushed his salad around on his plate with his fork. Dean could tell the younger male was lost in his head again. His eyes stayed focused on the brunette as his teeth chewed at his bottom lip. 

He opened his mouth to say something before shutting it gently. Slowly, soft brown eyes met his baby blues.

“Any particular reason you’re staring at me?” Seth mumbled, laying his fork down. 

“Isn’t wanting to stare at your pretty face a good enough reason babe?” Dean smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“Who would want to stare at my stupid face,” Seth mumbled under his breath, making Dean frown and take one of Seth’s hands into both of his own.

“Seth.. baby.. what’s wrong. Really, I want to help you,” Dean asked gently, pressing a kiss to the back of Seth’s hand.

A slight frown made its way onto Dean’s face as he watched his boyfriend’s straight face falter a little. He felt Seth’s hand shake gently from where it was nestled between the both of Dean’s warm hands. One look back up into Seth’s eyes had Dean scooting his chair right up next to his, before pulling the shaking man into his arms.

“D-don’t want to talk about it here,” he whispered quietly, his voice shaking. 

Dean nodded as he helped Seth to his feet. While being in his emotional state, Seth was still a man with pride. He wasn’t about to let anyone else besides Dean watch him break down.

They made quick work of throwing away Seth’s untouched salad before Dean led them both to their private locker room. 

Once the door shut behind them, Dean found Seth pressed back up against him. The scratchy beard that moved against his neck was usually one to make him laugh from the way it tickled, but now was not the time for that. The hot, wet tears running down his neck was enough of a signal for him.

“You can talk when you’re ready,” Dean said gently, kissing the top of his boyfriend’s messy dark hair. 

He felt Seth nod against his neck, keeping quiet for what felt like forever before he finally spoke.

“I’m scared”

“You’re scared?” Dean asked, earning another nod. “Of what baby?”

“I’m scared you’re g-gonna leave me..”

Dean gently peeled Seth off of him to look in his sad brown eyes with disbelief.

“Seth.. why would I ever?” Dean questioned him.

“B-because..” Seth mumbled, his gaze dropping down to the floor. “Y-you already have a family.. why stay with a twink like me.”

“Seth, oh Seth.. baby.. I’m not gonna leave you,” Dean felt his heart ache as Seth started to cry all over again. “And you’re not a twink..”

“But what if you do Dean? What if you decide that you’d rather be with Renee and your daughter? I can’t lose you Dean.. I’m already so emotionally attached to you that I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if you ever left me,” Seth cried, trying to reattach himself to Dean.

“Hey hey, listen to yourself baby.. I know this is going to be a big adjustment with a baby around. You’re scared, and hell, I’m scared too.. I have no idea how to be a dad.. but one thing I know for sure is that you’re stuck with me. I have no intentions of leaving you babe, ever. What I had with Renee was nice while it lasted, but like I said before.. I never felt this way towards anyone ever. I wouldn’t trade you for the most expensive car or for any amount of money in the world. You’re it for me. I know we haven’t been together too long but I already know that I don’t want anyone other than you..,” Dean said soothingly as he wiped the tears from Seth’s wet lashes.

“No one could ever replace your spot in my heart,” he whispered as he gently kissed Seth’s lips, feeling some of the tension ease out of his lovers body.

“Promise?”

“I promise baby boy.”

Dean smiled as he ran a hand through Seth’s soft curls. His heart fluttered in his chest as he gazed at the man standing in front of him. He didn’t think Seth would ever understand just how beautiful Dean thought he was.

It wasn’t a lie when Dean said this is the life he always wanted to live. He absolutely adored being able to wake up next to Seth in the morning. He loved theirs lazy cuddles, Seth’s soft lips and kisses, his laugh, everything. He loved everything about that man, and that’s no lie. He just wish Seth understood that.

“I love you,” Dean whispered as he pressed lazy kisses down Seth’s jaw.

“I love you too,” Seth said, giggling softly. 

“Mm I’d love to show you just how much too..”

Seth smirked in response “show me then”

And Dean did. He loved indulging in Seth. 

What had started as lazy kisses on the couch of the locker room, had turned into more. The kisses had gained more passion and more lust.

It didn’t take long for Dean to skillfully remove Seth’s and his own shirt before dropping them both on the floor. His jeans were dropped around his ankles before he started to help his boyfriend shimmy out of his spandex tights.

They made love on the couch, too lost in themselves to care about their surroundings. Dean was gentle, making sure to not hurt the beautiful man underneath him. It was amazing, just like every other time had been between them.

Dean didn’t know how the future was going to play out. He was scared of how things would be once the baby did actually come. As long as he had Seth by his side though, he felt like he could accomplish absolutely anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! I’m back with another chapter of my newest story! I hope to update one of the other two soon, but until then, I’d love some feedback :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go back downhill as fast as they went uphill for Seth and Dean both. Seth unwillingly drags Roman into the cyclone of his emotions.

Seth sniffled, curling his body up into a tighter little ball than he had before. His anxiety had been killing him for days now, and he had been forced to fend for himself. Once again, Dean wasn’t home. 

The past few months between him and Dean had been better. They worked on their relationship, trying to talk to each other more about any feelings of doubt and uncertainty. Dean had slightly been able to help ease Seth from some his abandonment issues by just being there with him. Once it got closer to Renee’s due date though, things slowly started to go back to hell.

Dean spent less and less time at home. He had fatherly duties to attend to, of course. It was to the point that almost all the time that he wasn’t on the road, he spent with Renee, leaving Seth alone. The only time Dean ever really spent at home was when he was sleeping. He had to make sure Renee was comfortable when she slept, fed the right foods, took her vitamins, the whole nine yards. 

Little did he know that Seth wasn’t any of those things. 

Most days he was at home, he cried. He cried because he missed Dean. The strong warm embrace that he fell asleep to and woke up in had been gone. He cried because of the baby. Thoughts of jealousy swirled around in his head about not being able to have his own. He cried because he felt alone. The house felt too big and too quiet to him. He cried until it made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t tell you when the last time he actually consumed anything other than water was. It all just came back up when he tried to eat, so he didn’t. 

The days had started to become nothing but a routine to him. He’d start the day by waking up in the middle of the night, shaky and sick. He never bothered to wake Dean up anymore. A part of him already knew Dean wouldn’t come along. Those days were gone.

After he spends a good hour emptying his stomach, he crawled back into bed. He never really knew how he managed to go back to sleep, knowing the heartache of waking up alone would always be there to greet him. 

Some days he’d spend the day in bed. He’d curl up with a pillow, staring off into the darkness of his grayscale walls. Tears were always present during these times. The times that Seth wished he were anywhere else but there. Other days, he’d be getting ready to head out on the road. He had to adjust to driving alone. Even the car had felt eerily quiet without Dean there to crack jokes or tease Seth about his “shitty emo music”.

As much as Seth wished that he didn’t have to work tonight, he still had to go in anyways. He didn’t want to leave the comfort of his own bed. The soft black sheets were a kind of safe place for him. Instead, he was subjected to having to leave them, and go out in the open. That was exactly where he didn’t want to be.

That didn’t stop him from getting out of bed though. 

Seth rubbed his eyes as he wandered to the bathroom. He had to at least make himself look presentable if he had to be in the eyes of the public. His bosses would have it out for him if he didn’t represent the company well.

A soft sigh escaped his lips as he stepped into the scalding water. The hot feeling made his skin crawl in the best way, making him feel warm and content on the inside as well as the outside. He leaned his head back, running his hands through his hair to wet it. The distraction felt nice, considering half of the other ones didn’t work. Even jerking off wasn’t cutting it for him anymore. All it did was leave him with a sore dick and the constant wish to just disappear.

Seth wrapped a towel around his waist before stepping out of the shower. The cold of the tile was enough to send a shiver through his heated body. He made it a quick job of slipping on his socks and boxers before towel drying his hair.

After he got himself totally dressed, he made his way back to his room. He had just about enough of the quiet, so he turned on some music, hoping to fill some of his empty void.

His bag was packed within 10 minutes, leaving him to sprawl out on his bed. Sad brown eyes stared up at the ceiling as his ears listened to the light melody coming from his phone speakers. 

Music had always been a huge part of Seth’s life. From when he was an angsty teenager, to now a grown adult, it had always been an escape for him. He remembered getting lost in his music after school when his mother wasn’t home from work just yet, or right before he went out for a match. It had always helped hype him up or simply to just mellow out. It never ceased to fail. Even now, when Seth was feeling his worst, there was always a song that would ease just a little bit of his anguish. 

It didn’t last for long however. Once he got to work, his whole world was flipped upside down once again. The peace he had found had disintegrated inside him once he found out the news. Renee had had her baby. Dean’s baby. Their daughter. He didn’t even bother to call Seth and inform him. Instead he had to find out from Roman, who had to quickly pull Seth into an empty equipment room before the younger man lost it completely. 

********************************************

“Seth! Hey bud, cmon you have to calm down.. cmon uce..,” Roman tried to calm down the trembling man in his arms.

He had no idea what was going on. He knew about his brothers’ relationship, even being a major supporter. Lately however he could tell something was up about their relationship. It was when he had approached Dean one night after a show, while Seth was in the shower of course, that he got his truth. 

He had absolutely no clue Renee had been pregnant this whole time. He thought that maybe she had quit, to pissed off about Dean and Seth to even think about being on the same planet as them. Things worked in mysterious ways however. Roman thought Seth had known, Dean didn’t keep it a secret, did he?

He frowned, holding the shaking man closer against his chest. He gently ran his hands in Seth’s dark locks as he sobbed heavily. 

“Seth, bud, it’s gonna be okay,” Roman tried to assure him, but Seth wasn’t having it.

“N-no!,” Seth wailed, squirming around in Roman’s embrace.

“Hey now, there’s no need for that,” Roman continued to try and help soothe his little brother. “Can you talk to me please Seth? Did you know about the baby?”

Seth nodded against his shoulder miserably.

“Then what’s bothering you? You should be happy,” Roman spoke softly, watching as Seth sat up. His wet brown eyes stared into Roman’s.

“How am I supposed to be happy Roman?! My boyfriend doesn’t spend ANY time at home. He doesn’t spend ANY time with me. He’s always with Renee, tending to her like she’s the damn queen of England,” Seth yelled, his anger getting the better of him in that moment.

“Little bro, he’s just trying to keep her happy and comfortable,” Roman tried to reason.

“And what about me? I’m not happy, I’m not comfortable, and that’s not my baby. All I want is my own baby with Dean but I can’t have that. And now that he has one with Renee, what’s stopping him from leaving? Hell, he basically already has,” Seth’s voice cracked as he looked back down. 

Roman’s heart gave an unexpected lurch as he heard the absolute sadness and fear in Seth’s voice. 

“I’ve been sick for weeks. My anxiety has always been on the rough side but things are just so much worse. I can’t sleep at night. I always wake up puking because my nightmares scare the piss out of me. My stomach is so fucked up that I can’t even keep anything down, no matter what,” Seth whispered as his body shook lightly.

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Roman asked softly. “You know I would do absolutely anything for you or Dean both.. I need to know my boys are alright. And you’re clearly not okay.. why don’t you stay with me tonight?”

“I wouldn’t want to be a bother,” Seth shook his head, keeping it low.

“Seth Rollins you could never be a bother to me, even if you did lodge a chair in my back,” Roman teased, trying to ease the mood a little. “It seems like we should catch up, and just talk. I miss hanging with my little brother.. Plus you wouldn’t have to be alone. I don’t foresee Dean leaving Renee’s side anytime soon.”

“W-what do you mean?” Seth looked back up, sad brown eyes looking into his own once again.

“I uh..,” he sighed a little as he dug his phone out, pulling up his messages from Dean. “It’s better if you just see for yourself.”

Roman pulled up the picture Dean had sent him. It was of him, sitting in a hospital chair. His baby girl was nestled in the crook of his arm. Happy tears leaked from his eyes, staining his cheeks. He looked so absolutely happy in that moment. 

Roman’s heart all but broke when he seen the pure look of heartbreak written all over Seth’s features. He watched as the tears welled up in his eyes, quickly pulling Seth back to him. He quickly buried his face in Roman’s neck before he started to sob once again. 

He could already tell it was going to be a VERY long night.

*****************************************

“Please take at least one bite. For me?,” Roman tried to persuade Seth.

He had lost count of how many times he actually begged and pleaded for Seth to at least take a single bite of the pizza that Roman had bought. He KNEW that Seth was hungry. Anyone could see it, the poor kid was miserable. Hell, he barely made it through his match tonight. It had Roman scared to death of what would happen if Seth kept up his antics.

“I don’t wanna,” Seth cried, curling up into a tighter ball.

“Seth,” Roman let out a sigh. “Please. If not for me, for Dean.”

As soon as his name came out of Roman’s mouth he was silently wishing he could take it back.

“FUCK DEAN. HE DOESN’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE,” Seth wailed loud enough that Roman was sure the couple next door would be complaining.

The pizza slice was forgotten after he sat it down to wrap his arms around the younger man once again. After he gave up struggling, Roman successfully pulled the smaller man onto his lap, holding him close. A gentle hand guided Seth’s face to the crook of his neck as he sobbed. He tried his best to ignore the warm, wet feeling that the salty tears were providing.

A voice inside his head made a mental note that he had to talk to Dean. Having to see Seth like this was physically hurting him. That and he had the feeling that Seth most likely wasn’t going to go running back to Dean anytime soon.

“W-why does it hurt so bad Ro?” Seth asked weakly, almost inaudibly. 

“Well for one, it’s because you need to eat little bro. I know you’re upset, but not eating isn’t going to solve any of your problems,” he tried to say softly.

“B-but I always throw it back up.. and my throat hurts so bad already from always throwing my fucking guts up,” the smaller male whimpered.

“Well at least try and eat a piece for me, please? When was the last time you ate anything.”

“Like two days ago, maybe,” Seth mumbled quietly, obviously feeling slightly embarrassed.

“Well just one piece. Please? I promise you’ll feel so much better once you get something in that belly,” he smiled a little, patting Seth’s stomach. The action brought a slight giggle from the younger man. “I’ll even feed it to you.”

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt..”

Finally, a real smile made its way onto Roman’s face. He picked back up the forgotten piece of pizza before bringing it up to Seth’s lips. “Here comes the train!”

“Oh my god Roman, quit it!,” Seth giggled as he took the slice from Roman before proceeding to feed himself.

“Now see, that’s what I thought,” Roman chuckled as he watched him.

After Roman had gotten Mr. Stubborn to finally eat something, the night had gotten much easier. Seth got tired fairly quick after he had eaten, falling asleep on his older brother’s shoulder. Roman only smiled and proceeded to lay him down, tucking him in.

Seth had instantly started to whine at the loss of human contact. Roman, being the nice guy that he was raised to be, sighed softly before crawling back into bed beside the brunette. Seth had nuzzled himself back up against Roman’s chest before long, his sleep becoming less restless and more at peace. Putting all his thoughts aside, he wrapped his arms around the smaller man (and Seth certainly did feel a bit smaller).

Thoughts of Dean, Seth and the baby were the last things on his mind as he finally succumbed to the sleep that his body had so desperately needed.

*****************************************

A million and one thoughts were running through Dean’s mind as he made his way home. 

He was a father. After all these years of swearing off having any kids, here he was. He had the most perfect daughter in the world. She was the perfect mix of Dean and Renee both. With her baby blue eyes and light blonde whisps of hair on the top of her head, he was sure she wasn’t allowed to date until she was fifty.

He couldn’t wait to share his joy with his boyfriend. As much as being with Renee and little Avery made him happy, he felt guilty. He knew he wasn’t spending enough time with Seth and he felt terrible about it. Especially knowing how fragile Seth’s emotions truly were. 

The drive to their house felt entirely too long to Dean. A smile peaked its way back onto his features as it finally came into sight. FINALLY. He was in desperate need of cuddles from his other baby.

What he wasn’t expecting though, was an empty house. 

He knew Seth had went to work that night. He always showed up for work, despite his almost constant stomach issues (that still confused Dean).

“Seth?” he called out, running from room to room, hoping for an answer that he knew he wasn’t going to get.

After checking the last room in the house, Dean plopped down on the empty bed. The sheets were rumpled, showing that the bed had at least been slept in. None of Seth’s clothes had been missing, but there were no messages on Dean’s phone from anyone other than Roman. 

What had started as a good day had turned South fast. Seth was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth and Dean finally sit down to talk, but things don’t work out quite as they had both planned.

Sunlight filtered into the room, right into Seth’s sleepy brown eyes. He grumbled a little and turned to nuzzle back against the warm chest, still fast asleep beside him. Last night had been the best sleep that he’s gotten in awhile, not to mention he didn’t get up once to throw up. But it was still different.

He missed Dean. He missed sleeping beside Dean every night, nuzzling his nose into his chest. The familiar scent of mint gum and a slight bit of sweat was what home smelled like to Seth. Sleeping with Roman had been great, considering he actually slept well, but he was no Dean. His chest was too toned and his hair was too long, managing to tickle Seth’s face in his sleep. The Samoan was a lot bulkier than Dean, who had a slim waist and less muscle mass. That and Roman smelled like cologne, not the familiar scent of home that Seth had been acquainted with.

Either way, has was grateful for Roman. He always had been. Despite things that had happened in the past, the three had always stayed close, not letting their work and personal lives intervene. Now, however, their personal lives were starting to interfere with their friendship.

Seth knew that he had to talk to Dean. He knew that the only way things would get better is if they talked them out, but he doesn’t think he’d ever be ready for what the future held. He wasn’t ready for there to be a baby in the house to take care of, especially one that wasn’t his very own. One that would grow up to look just like her biological parents and not one trace of Seth. 

“I can hear you thinking,” Roman’s voice rang out, rough from sleep.

“I can’t help it,” Seth whispered as he chewed at his nails. “I’m scared..”

“Scared of what?” Roman’s hand found Seth’s hair, gently massaging his scalp.

“Mm talking to Dean, finding out where we stand, the future, everything,” Seth confessed, some of the tension leaving his body as Roman worked his magic.

“I don’t see why you’re so scared little brother, it’s not like Dean’s going to bite you,” Roman chuckles at his own words.

“Roman, this is Dean we’re talking about. He HAS bitten people out of anger before,” Seth pouted, trying to squirm away from his brother’s embrace.

“Hey, I’m just teasing you sensitive little fucker. Get your ass back here,” Roman said sternly as he pulled Seth back, holding him tightly against his chest.

Seth knew Roman hated to be stern with him or Dean. But it was the only way to get them to listen since they were both incredibly stubborn on a good day. Even more so when Seth was moody.

“Now this is what you’re gonna do,” Roman started. “You’re going to pick that phone up and call your boyfriend. Make sure to tell him where you are and that you’re okay. Then you’re going to tell him that you want to meet him to talk. Got it?”

Seth nodded, not daring to go against Roman’s word.

“Good boy,” Roman kissed the tangled mess of Seth’s hair. “Now call him.”

A small whimper made its way out of Seth as he slowly reached for his phone. He truly didn’t want to call Dean, solely because he was afraid of what the outcome would be. The other part of him, however, was dying to hear Dean’s voice, desperately wanting to see him again. 

His whole body shook as his fingers slowly dialed the familiar number. There was only so much that he could handle. Roman took the next step for him however, tapping the call button before putting the call on speaker. 

“Calm down, you’re doing perfect,” Roman whispered soothingly, petting Seth’s hair out of his face. 

Seth mewled in response as he anxiously awaited the other party.

“Hello? Seth?,” Dean’s raspy voice rang out. Seth would’ve missed it if Roman hadn’t of elbowed him in the ribs.

“H-hey Dean,” he replied, hating how pathetic he sounded.

“Seth, baby, where are you?” Dean asked, concern evident in his tone.

“I uh, I stayed with R-Rome last night,” he answered meekly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I was worried about you..”

“Well why didn’t you tell ME about your daughter being born?!,” Seth blurted, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth.

“Wait, wha-,” Roman cut Dean off before he could finish.

“What Seth wants to know if you’ll meet him for coffee in about an hour. There’s some things you two need to talk about uce,” Roman said calmly while his eyes shot daggers at Seth, who went back to hiding under the covers.

“Oh, uh sure.. At the Starbucks downtown? Our usual?,” Dean asked, his voice sounding empty this time around.

“Yeah,” Seth mumbled, barely audible from his spot buried under the comforter.

He had no interest in finishing his conversation with Dean. He already made himself look like a fool once, he didn’t need it to happen again. 

“What the hell was that Seth?” Roman demanded once he was off the phone. “I thought I told you to talk to him? And there you are calling him out already.. what’s gotten into you lately?”

Seth let out a dry laugh. “Not any dick, that’s for sure.”

“Oh my god, Seth,” Roman groaned, pushing his palms into his eyes. “Get your ass up and in the shower now.”

Seth couldn’t help but giggle a little at Roman’s reaction, despite the swarm of anxiety he felt about the whole situation. He peeked up at him from under the covers, seeing Roman’s face red and embarrassed. 

“Cmon now Seth, I’m serious.”

The Samoan cracked a smirk as he gently pushed Seth over the side of the bed. He hit the floor with a squeal before jumping up into his feet. He faked an angry look at Roman before stomping off towards the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Seth did his best to avoid looking at himself in the mirror as he turned the shower on. He had no interest in seeing just how much of a mess he was. He may have saved himself from that, but he what he didn’t save himself from his thoughts.

As he stood there, hot water cascading over his shoulders, his thoughts caught up to him. What if things with Dean were unfixable? What if Dean didn’t want to even hear his reasoning after blowing up on him in the phone? The tears threatened to spill as Seth curled into himself. 

He really didn’t want to do this.

*****************************************

Dean chewed at his thumbnail as he anxiously waited for Seth to arrive, fifteen minutes later than he originally was supposed to. Despite being worried shitless, he had been getting ready to head up to see Renee and the baby when he had gotten the call. 

He had slept like shit last night. Most of his time had been spent awake, worried about Seth. He could’ve been anywhere. A crazed fan could’ve gotten ahold of him, someone could’ve drugged his drink, or he could’ve been in a ditch somewhere for all Dean knew. Until he found out that he had been with Roman the whole time. 

It’s not that Dean was particularly angry, or could blame Seth in any way. He knew how Seth’s paranoia got the best of him at times. If he was alone for long periods of time, then it really did show. But why couldn’t he have called him instead of running to Roman? He just didn’t understand..

Dean eyes glanced up at the door once the little bell rung. He continued to watch as Roman practically had to drag Seth inside the building. A frown grew on his lips as he noticed just how bad Seth was shaking.

“Sorry we’re late.. someone was trying to protest..,” Roman gave him a sheepish smile as he held Seth in place by the shoulder.

“It’s uh.. it’s alright,” Dean stuttered, his eyes solely focused on his shaking boyfriend. 

“Good.. now sit down. You’re embarrassing yourself,” Roman gently scolded Seth as he very slowly took the seat across from Dean.

“Hey babe..,” Dean cracked a tiny smile, trying to lighten the mood a little. Seth looked at him, but chose not to respond.

“I’ll be right across the street if either of you need me, okay?,” Roman said, making Dean and Seth both nod.

Dean watched Seth visibly tense as Roman left. His frown deepened as he stared straight at his darker haired boyfriend. What was his deal?

“Look Seth,” Dean started, but apparently Seth was willing and ready to bite his head off for saying just two words.

“No Dean, YOU look,” chocolate brown eyes starred daggers into his own blue ones, startling Dean for the second time today. “Where the HELL have you been?”

“Seth you know where I’ve been..”

“Yeah, not with me. Not EVER with me,” Dean watched as the tears rolled down Seth’s tan cheeks.

“I’m sorry I’ve been busy babe, but I have a daughter now. And she needs my attention,” Dean tried to say calmly.

“And what about before then Dean? What about ME needing your attention? You barely spent time with me the whole entire month before your kid was born. Did you ever think to yourself that I might need you too? That I can’t sleep or even relatively function without you? But no, all you give a shit about is Renee and your real family,” Seth accused, curling farther into the hoodie that he was wearing.

“I’m sorry Seth.. You’re an adult, I thought you could take better care of yourself for awhile,” Dean rubbed his temple, trying to keep his temper at bay. “And watch your mouth please, that’s the mother of my baby.”

“I don’t care about your baby!,” Seth all but yelled, his eyes going wide in realization of what he had just said. “Dean-“

“No, shut the fuck up right now,” Dean took a sharp breath, feeling his temper break loose. No one disrespected his daughter, even if it was the man who was supposed to love him.

“If you can’t stand MY baby that much then maybe you need to get out of the picture and out of the both of our fucking lives,” Dean growled, standing up from the table.

“Dean please.. I didn’t mean that..,” Seth tried to reason with him, standing up as well. 

“Yeah? Well I meant what I said. And I also mean this.”

Before the thought even registered in Dean’s mind, his hands were on Seth. He shoved the smaller man as hard as he could, sending him tumbling over the chair that he had just stood up from. Seth hit his head off the floor with a sickening thud that was even enough to make Dean cringe. He wasn’t going to show it though. 

Watery brown doe eyes glanced up at him in pure fear as he stood over Seth. He knew he had hurt the brunette, but he wasn’t in his right mind to bother with helping him. He had too much pride and way too much anger.

A whimper escaped Seth as Dean grabbed him by the shirt collar, hoisting him back to his feet. 

“Now get lost before I make you,” he shot one last dirty look into Seth’s eyes before letting him go. And Seth sure as hell didn’t waste any time fleeing. He was always good at running when things were too much to handle. 

Dean took a breath before looking around at the audience that he had acquired. 

“There’s nothing to see here,” he mumbled before making his own way out of the shop and towards the place where he needed to be. With Renee and his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry for the long wait on this.. I had a bit of writers block. Next chapter shouldn’t take as long to upload tho :) lemme know what you guys think


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman has a talk with Dean that helps him see the light, but what neither of them could see though, was their youngest brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of like a part two to the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoy :)

Roman checked his phone for the third time in the matter of five minutes. It had been a good hour since he left the boys to make their amends, and he hasn’t heard from either of them since. 

He threw a five down on the table where he sat with his unfinished lunch. For all he knew, they could have killed each other by now. What he wasn’t expecting when he had arrived though, was the gaze of a dozen terrified customers.

“Aw shit,” he mumbled to himself. “The two guys that were sitting here. Where did they go?” 

He looked through the crowd, praying that at least one of them would give him the answers that he needed.

“T-the one with the dark hair ran out about ten minutes ago after the other one pushed him over that chair..,” a young, pretty blonde answered him.

Roman nodded as he glanced at the overturned chair. He internally sighed, dragging his hands over his face for the hundredth time today. Of course Dean let his temper go, but that only meant Seth was most likely being mouthy. That’s how it always went. 

As he went to turn, set on trying to find at least one of them, a glint caught his eye. He turned back, glancing down at the forgotten cell phone, or to be specific, Seth’s cell phone.

Just wonderful. He guessed he could count out trying to find Seth. The man could be anywhere, so he set on trying to find Dean first. 

He kind of already had an idea of where Dean would be, so the ride to the hospital had been quick. What hadn’t come quick however, were the words he wanted to tell the younger male. Dean, much like Seth, was also very sensitive, but he showed it in different ways. But what was really eating away at Roman’s thoughts was what actually happened between them to make Dean ever get physical with Seth. 

He let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair as he made his way through the maze of hallways. Hospitals had always made him uneasy, but with the added nervousness settled in his stomach it was enough to make it way worse.

Relief settled over him once he finally found Renee’s room. He gently knocked on the doorframe, to be polite, before inviting himself inside. Dean, just had Roman had suspected, was sitting hip to hip with Renee in her bed, the baby nuzzles in his arms. Curious blue eyes met his grey ones at Roman’s presence.

“Hey guys..,” he smiled politely. 

“Hey Roman,” Renee smiled up at him, obviously in a good mood. “What’re you up to?”

“Just thought I’d stop by and see my niece,” Roman took the seat beside Renee’s side of the bed, ignoring Dean’s gaze, focused solely on him.

“Lucky for you she just woke up once she figured out her daddy came back,” Renee smiles fondly over at the baby in Dean’s arms. “She’s such a daddy’s girl already..”

“I can see..,” his grey eyes finally met Dean’s, feeling the slight heat they gave off. 

“Would you like to hold her?”

“Maybe here after I have a chat with Dean.. privately,” Roman kept his gaze locked into Dean’s, refusing to back down.

He kept staring until Dean muttered something under his breath, handing the baby back to her mother. Roman slowly rose to his feet, walking to stand right outside the door. After a few moments Dean followed, shutting the door behind him.

“What do you want Reigns. I’m not in the mood for you or my asshole ex’s shit today,” Dean spoke through gritted teeth.

“Jesus, what crawled up your ass and died huh?,” Roman questioned. “Am I not even allowed to talk to you?”

“No, because I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it. Seth and I are over and done with. End of story,” Dean crossed his arms out of agitation. 

“Well why?”

“Oh I’m sure he told you. That’s probably where he went after he took off. Running to you like he always does,” the auburn haired male accused, making Roman frown.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dean, I haven’t seen Seth since I left him with you.”

“Oh bullshit, I’m sure he called you crying like a baby.”

“He didn’t Dean, I literally haven’t seen or heard from him since I left him with you. I went over to check on you guys and I found this,” he pulled Seth’s black iPhone out of his pocket, holding it up for Dean to see.

“That doesn’t mean sh-,” Roman cut Dean off, his irritation finally catching up to him.

“What did you do to him Dean? And I’m not even talking about what transpired earlier. I want to know why you weren’t taking care of him. You know how he gets when he’s alone,” Roman spat.

“He’s a damn grown adult, he can take care of his fucking self,” Dean retaliated. 

“I know he can Dean, but you know how he is. You know how his mind works better than even I do. You were spending zero time with him and one hundred percent of your time with your ex.”

“He easily could’ve went out with you or one of his CrossFit friends if he really wanted to,” Dean mumbled, and Roman noted, seeing his bravado fade a little.

“He didn’t want to spend time with any of them because they’re not you Dean. Seth wanted to spend his time with you, his boyfriend, the man he’s head over heels for.. That boy would do absolutely anything for you, but you were never there for him. And you know it,” Roman said a little softer.

“He said he didn’t care about Avery,” Dean mumbled as he changed the subject, his head hanging low so Roman couldn’t see his face. “He’s never even met her, or given her a chance, but he already decided he doesn’t care about her.”

When Dean looked up, Roman understood why he had his head down in the first place. Tears leaked out of his eyes and trailed down his cheeks sadly. He didn’t hesitate to pull Dean into his arms, rubbing his back gently.

At least now he could understand why Dean was upset with Seth. He would’ve been equally as upset if he was in the same situation. That didn’t mean he had the rights to push Seth, as the lady at Starbucks had informed him. 

“I just, that’s my daughter Rome. I helped create her.. Sick, twisted, screw up me, Dean Ambrose, helped create that sweet little baby girl. She stole my heart from the moment that I first held her..,” Dean sniffled against his chest as Roman pat his head. “I-I was so excited.. this would’ve been like a new beginning for us.. I mean, we never really talked about having a kid but I could always imagine Seth falling perfectly into that role. And for him to say that.. it hurt me Rome.. s-so I hurt him back..”

“Well maybe that’s one of the things you should’ve talked to him about Dean. A baby is a huge game changer. You could’ve at least included him more so he didn’t have to feel so left out,” Roman said softly. “And I’m not condoning him for saying that type of thing. If anyone said that about my baby I would’ve been upset too, but I wouldn’t have let my anger get the best of me.. I heard what you did Dean, and I’m not really pleased with you either..”

“You know how I get Rome,” Dean sighed, all the tension leaving his body. 

“I know, but that wasn’t an excuse to put your hands on him like that and you know it,” Roman lightly scolded, watching as Dean’s gaze dropped back to the floor.

“I know things are at a rough spot for the both of you right now, and it’s going to take some serious mending to get you two back on the same page, but don’t let this one get away Dean. You two truly were made for each other, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.”

Roman kissed Dean’s forehead as he gently held him at arms length. Grey eyes gazed into defeated blues, frowning softly. Oh the things he did for these two boys.

“You can go back in there and spend time with your family, Dean. I’m going to at least go try and find Seth, god knows where he could be by now,” Roman let out a small huff as Dean started to nibble at his fingernails.

“D-do you think he’s okay?,” Dean asked, his voice sad and distant, laced with a hint of concern. 

He could only shrug. “I sure hope so.”

“I said some really hurtful things to him Rome.. what if we can’t find him?,” A frown tugged at Dean’s lips. 

“I don’t know Dean.. I really don’t.. Our only hope is that we find him safe and sound. That’s our first concern.”

Roman knew trying to find Seth would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Especially if Seth didn’t want to be found, then it would truly be harder to find the brunette.

He let out another sigh as he gave his brother a farewell hug and a pat on the shoulder before heading out into the world.

*****************************************

The tangy taste of blood filled Dean’s mouth as he bit down a little too hard on his bottom lip. His nerves had been acting up ever since his talk with Roman, and had failed in settling down even after he went back in to his little family.

Renee had tried to pry, as she had always been notorious for, but Dean kept his mouth shut. His and Seth’s business wasn’t meant for her by any means. 

He knew he shouldn’t have put his hands on Seth. He knew that from the moment that it had happened, but earlier he had been too angry to think about his actions. Of course he was still upset with Seth disrespecting his daughter, but he could see the point that Roman was trying to make to him.

Not once had Dean thought about Seth’s feelings about the baby. They never fully discussed having one at any length, and to have one inserted into their lives? He could see why it had scared Seth. And then Dean spending all his time with Renee, he could see how this had also affected Seth, being he knew that Seth had his reasons for being scared to be alone. He really did let Seth down. In more ways than one.

The guilt had begun to consume him after about an hour after Roman had left. Everything felt wrong. Being in that room, hip to hip with Renee, holding a baby that was the both of theirs in his arms. That’s not how it was meant to be, and now he could clearly see that. Seth should be the one beside him. It should be their baby, either by surrogate or by adoption. Not that he wasn’t happy with Avery, he loved her more than he had ever thought capable. 

So he made the ultimate decision to kiss his daughters forehead, promising her he’d see her soon, before laying her down and leaving. Right now he had someone else on his mind. Someone that he really didn’t want to lose, despite the words that he had spewed earlier that day. 

He had called Roman, who had no problem with picking him up. The hour that the Samoan had spent looking for their youngest brother had turned out to be a waste. Roman had came back empty handed, not even having the slightest idea to where Seth could be. 

It made Dean’s heart ache in his chest.

They had looked for what felt like a decade to Dean. There still wasn’t any sign of him. He hadn’t even bothered to go back to the hotel room that he and Roman had shared the night prior to get his belongings. Everything was still in its neat little pile because it was Seth, and Seth always had to have things neat and clean.

“God Roman what do we do? He’s nowhere to be found,” Dean let out an exasperated sigh, pulling at his curls

“I don’t know Dean, but pulling your hair out isn’t going to solve it,” he gently pulled Dean’s hands away from his hair, holding them in his own as the tears slowly crept back up into Dean’s baby blue eyes.

I fucked up so bad this time.. If only I had paid attention to how he felt instead of having my head so far up Renee’s ass,” Dean sniffled, gaze falling to look at the green shag carpet of the hotel floor.

“You were allowed to have your head up Renee’s ass Dean, she was pregnant with your baby after all. But I do agree that you needed to pay more attention to Seth,” he rubbed at Dean’s shoulders, feeling the sadness in the way that he held himself.

“I just don’t know how I’m gonna fix this one, Rome. I really don’t,” He twiddled his thumbs in his lap, trying to keep his fidgeting under control.

“We’ll think of something Dean, we always do,” the Samoan have his shoulder a pat before climbing to his feet. “But for right now the best thing we can do is get some rest.”

Dean nodded in agreement, despite not feeling tired at all. Roman let him have the bed that Seth had slept in the previous night. He could swear that he could smell Seth’s scent on the pillow. The fruity shampoo scent being all too familiar with his nose to be Roman’s.

He instinctively held the pillow closer to his chest as the tears started to fall faster. 

He really didn’t know how he was going to fix this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments and kudos are both really appreciated around here!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two weeks have passed and there’s still no sign of Seth. Renee visits and spills her heart out to Roman.

The seconds turned into minutes, the minutes turned into hours, the hours turned into days, and soon they’ve were approaching two weeks. It’s been two weeks since Dean shoved Seth over that chair in the middle of a Starbucks. Two weeks since he had seen the pure fear in his big brown doe eyes. Two weeks since he lost the love of his life.

He truly was starting to hate himself for it.

Dean wished he could take back everything that he’d done to Seth. He wanted to go back and fix it. He wanted to fix Seth’s broken heart. But he knew it would take more than an ‘I’m sorry’ this time around. That’s even if they found him.

He and Roman had searched everywhere they could. They checked in with all of Seth’s friends, acquaintances, and even family, but no one had seen nor heard anything from the brunette. Marek Brave, Seth’s very best friend since he was young, hadn’t heard anything from the other male. Even his poor mother hadn’t heard from her beloved son. Dean had come to regret telling her that he was missing though. Knowing that she was in her home worrying sick over her baby made him sick to his stomach. Especially when it was all his fault to begin with.

With all the turmoil going on physically, it was starting to affect Dean mentally. He wasn’t sleeping right, he never really could, but when Seth was with him, he always slept like a baby. Then with the lack of sleep came troubles at work. Once he had came back, it was really almost like he still wasn’t there. He was messing up moves all over the place, staying down on the mat for longer than he should, and he was so dazed once that they almost had to call the match because he wouldn’t move. It was all becoming too much to handle.

Even being around Renee was starting to take a toll on him. Word must have spread about the situation that had happened (Dean wouldn’t know, he despises any form of social media and refuses to use it). In return, Renee started to be overly clingy towards him, which he understood to an extent. Having a baby comes with a wave of unwanted or expected hormones after all. But was all the touching and teasing really necessary?

It had started out with little things. She’d call him, wanting him to help her with something as simple as burping their daughter, then would in turn try to persuade him into trying to get back together. They hadn’t been frequent calls at first, but soon enough Renee would call him for everything little thing that SHE needed, not even their daughter. It’s not that he wouldn’t do it, because he eventually did give in and go help her as an excuse to see his baby. It just didn’t help that his mind wasn’t in the right place to do much of anything but breathe.

Roman groaned out as Dean’s phone started to ring again. It was the third time in a matter of 30 minutes that Renee had called. 

“If you don’t tell her to knock it off uce, then I will. This is getting tiring,” Roman stated simply, throwing him a look.

They sat together on the dark grey sofa in Dean’s living room. As much as Dean had protested, they had ended up coming there yesterday night after another long night of both working and keeping an eye out for their younger brother. There weren’t any shows going on for the next few days, so both men (or more so Roman) thought it would be beneficial to take some time and try to scope out their options regarding Seth. 

Dean shrugged a little in response to Roman. He wasn’t feeling up to talking much about that situation.

“Cmon man, how does it not bother you?”

Dean shrugged again. “Doesn’t bother me. I love seeing my daughter.”

“Yeah but you always look even more wrecked when you come home than you do before you leave dude.. you need to tell her that you can’t be there every minute of the day,” Roman said, gentler this time.

“I don’t know Roman, things are just a lot for me right know, okay?,” Dean sighed, leaning forward to rest his face in his hands. “Renee won’t leave me alone, I feel like shit because I don’t see Avery as much as I want to, and Seth is still. Fucking. Missing. And all of it is my fault.”

A small sob left Dean before he knew it. He just wanted his life back, but he was the only one to blame for it being ruined in the first place.

“Oh Dean..,” a gentle arm wrapped itself around Dean’s waist, carefully pulling him up against Romans toned chest. 

“I miss him Rome, I miss him so much..,” Dean cried. “Everything is all my fault..”

Featherlight fingers played with Dean’s curls soothingly as he continued to cry into Romans chest. 

“I know you’re upset Dean, and you have every right to be, but remember it’s not all your fault. Seth would still be here if he just talked normally like I had asked him to in the first place,” Roman tried to argue but Dean shook his head.

“It all could’ve been avoided if I just wore that damn condom.. but then if I did, I wouldn’t have my baby. But I’d still have Seth, at least-,” Roman gently shushed Dean, stopping him from saying anything else.

“Just take a deep breath Dean. You’re losing yourself..”

“I lost myself when Seth ran out that door,” Dean mumbled softly, shutting Roman up temporarily. 

He knew the Samoan wanted to argue with him, to say something to try and change his mind. Dean was firm on this one however. 

They both sat in silence for what felt like years. Dean had long since calmed down, and had instead started to stare tiredly at the tv while Roman watched some kind of football game. His arm never left Dean’s waist and Dean’s head never left his chest. His eyelids felt like stone, too heavy to force them to stay open any longer before they slowly shut completely, letting Dean slip into darkness.

*******************

Grey eyes focused lazily on the tv screen as he watched the two football teams battle it out on the field. He let out a soft sigh as he gazed down at Dean’s sleeping form. He was nowhere near peaceful by any means, but even Roman knew that this was the most peaceful sleep that the auburn haired male had in weeks.

They were both in over their heads, they knew that, but it wasn’t going to stop them. Even if Dean did wrong, pushed him, or neglected him, Seth was still their family. One of the most important things that Roman’s mother had ever taught him was that family always stuck together, no matter what.

A knock on the door brought Roman out of his thoughts. He ignored it at first, not wanting to wake Dean up. As the knocking got progressively louder and more persistent however, he found that he had no other choice. Whoever was on the other side of that door sure wasn’t having it today.

Roman carefully maneuvered Dean so that he was laying down across the couch. He let out a breath of relief when he didn’t stir at all before he bolted over to the door, anxious to shut up whoever was behind it.

“If you bang on this door one more fu-,” he cut himself off as he flung the door open, revealing a disheveled Renee and a crying baby. “Renee?”

“Well hello to you too Roman,” she spat, no real heat to it, as she rocked the baby.

“Can I uh, ask what your doing here? It’s nine o’clock,” Roman asked, confused.

“I can’t take it anymore Roman, all she does is cry and cry and cry. The only time she doesn’t cry is when Dean has her, and he’s been so busy chasing after a guy that obviously doesn’t want him anymore to even come over and see her,” the blonde started to ramble, only stopping when Roman held up a hand.

“Renee, it’s fine, you’re just stressed and so is Dean for that matter. Seth is missing, we can’t find him anywhere. He has a daughter that he feels guilty when he’s not with her. And then there’s his job, his lack of sleep, hell, even you’re stressing him out with calling a million times a day.”

“Well I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry his twink of a boyfriend ran away, I’m sorry he doesn’t sleep, but I’m not sorry about how much I call. I can’t help that this baby just naturally gravitates towards her dad. She hates when I hold her. She hates when I feed her, or change her diaper, or anything. She just hates me. He’d be a better off parent for her than I’ll ever be,” fresh tears ran down her cheeks, making Roman feel slightly sympathetic.

“Look, why don’t we keep Avery for the night? You can go home and rest and just relax. She’ll be in good hands,” Roman offered, watching as Renee pondered his offer.

“I guess it wouldn’t hurt,” she said softly, slowly offering the bundle in her arms to the Samoan. 

Roman smiled lightly as he carefully took the blonde haired baby into his arms. He gazed down at her, watching as her cries dissolved into a little fit of coos. That earned another frown from Renee, but she didn’t speak about it this time. 

“Roman?” She had decided to ask instead. 

His grey eyes met her wet brown ones. “Yeah?”

“I hope you guys find him,” Renee spoke softly and sincerely. “I know I haven’t been the nicest to him, or Dean since they’ve been together. But all of this kind of shows me just how much Dean meant to Seth. And even how much Seth meant to Dean. For the longest time, I refused to believe that they meant anything to each other. I just though that this whole thing would blow over and Dean would come back to me. Even if he had cheated on me with Seth, I wanted him back. Especially with the baby on the way..,” she paused, her brown eyes glancing upon the baby in Roman’s bulky arms.

“D-Dont tell Dean this, but when I had first found out about her, I was contemplating getting rid of her. I was so scared to be a mother and still so upset with Dean for what he did, that I thought it would be a way to get back at him.. but I knew what he had been through as a child, and even in my heart I knew it was wrong. I couldn’t hurt him like that, even if he hurt me. His baby deserved a life, despite what Dean and I had went through. Now that I see him with her, I’m glad I decided against it. I know he could give her a perfect life, I can see it in the way he looks at her like she’s the very thing that’s holding him here on this planet..” Renee’s voice broke as her tears picked back up. 

In reality, Roman knew he should be slightly upset with Renee. Getting rid of something such as a baby and holding it over Dean’s head was absolutely cruel in every way. He was so fucking thankful that she decided against it, for Dean’s sake and her own. 

“ I won’t tell him,” was the only thing Roman could think to respond. His mind was still trying to process all this new information. 

“I’m sorry she caused this rift between Seth and Dean..,” she spoke softly, eyes looking everywhere else except at Roman. 

“It’s not the baby’s fault Renee. I feel that both of the boys could’ve handled this situation in a completely different way. No one really knows this, but Seth’s had separation anxiety and abandonment issues since he was a little kid. Dean knew about it, but Seth’s been so good for so long that I’m thinking that he thought leaving him alone for a bit was a good idea. The situation just freaked him out since you’re Dean’s ex and you guys were having a baby, which was something he’s told me before that he wanted with Dean someday. But I’m sure if they love each other enough, they’ll find a way back together,” Roman explained, eyes glancing down to the now sleeping baby in his arms. 

Renee nodded, signaling Roman that she was at a loss for words. He let out a breath before gently pulling her into a hug with his free arm. 

“Go home and get some rest, call us in the morning, okay?” He whispered into her ear, feeling her nod against his shoulder.

“Thank you..” was the soft response. 

He smiled a little as he watched her pull away and make her way to her car. Quietly, he made his way back inside to a still sleeping Dean. Knowing that Dean didn’t move much in his sleep, and that he was laying on his back, Roman gently laid Avery, belly down, onto his chest. 

After taking a few steps back, he smiled fondly at the sight in front of him. Avery was the spitting image of her father, and it made Roman’s heart melt. 

The moment had been interrupted however, as his phone vibrated in the table, alerting him that he had a new message. He scooped the phone into his hand before plopping down in the chair, not wanting to disturb Dean or the baby’s sleep. 

The message that he was sent almost had him back up and out of his chair in a mix of surprise and relief. Marek Brave had gotten back to him with one simple little message. The simple little message that he had been praying he’d receive since that day two weeks before. 

His tired eyes read the same two words over and over again, tearing up a little. 

“Found him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to upload this. I hope you guys enjoy it :)
> 
> Kudos and comments pleaseeeee


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marek helps get Seth back on his feet, also giving Roman a lowdown on the situation at hand. Dean starts to get suspicious.

Marek Brave was used to strange and unusual things, but finding his best friend looking worse for wear on his doorstep was something he hadn’t been expecting at all. Even when he had heard from Roman and Dean that Seth had been missing, he didn’t expect him to show up. At least not to him. 

Seth had been laying on his welcome mat, shaking like a leaf as his brown eyes stared off. His clothes were soaked and covered in streaks of mud. Sticks and little leaves were nestled in his frizzy dark locks. Various cuts, scrapes, and bruises were littered across the poor man’s pale skin, some worse than others, giving him the impression that they were self inflicted. Marek has also noticed just how cold and clammy Seth was to the touch as he carefully brought him inside and out of the cold. 

Even if he hadn’t been expecting it, it had still been a relief he had came to him. If his poor mother had to see her son in this shape, he was sure she’d have a heart attack. Along with never letting him out of her sight for a long time. To be fair though, Marek wasn’t going to allow him to be by himself for awhile either. 

After a quick text to Roman that he had found the man in question, he set to trying to get him cleaned up and comfortable. He didn’t go into specifics about Seth’s condition, out of courtesy for his friend. Also because he didn’t want them to rush out here while Seth was still so vulnerable and pretty much stuck inside his own head. Having been with him during his last nervous breakdown, bringing others into the picture would only freak him out further. 

“Cmon Seth, lets get you cleaned up. Huh pal?,” Marek said gently, hoisting the taller man to his feet. A quiet whimper was the only response that he received as he led him down the hall and to the bathroom.

The sound of chattering teeth and Seth’s heavy breathing filled the quiet room as Marek got him situated, sitting upright against the wall. He shot a quick glance into those void brown eyes, sighing softly. Part of him wished Seth would’ve reached out before things had gotten this bad. His friend had always had trouble managing his stress, ultimately leading to his breakdowns. He had been doing so good for awhile, he was curious as to what broke him this time. 

By the time the tub had been filled up with hot water, most of the leaves had been picked out of Seth’s hair. Soon after, his muddy clothes had also been discarded into the basket in the corner. A soft whine left the brunette’s lips at the sudden loss of clothes, making Marek roll his eyes. 

“I’ve seen ya naked before buddy, nothing new to me,” he mumbled as he maneuvered Seth into the warm water. 

A soft gasp left his lips as he let his body slide down further into the water. A slight smile made its way onto Marek’s face as he watched on.

“I’m gonna go get you some clothes. You gonna be good for a few minutes?” He asked, watching on as Seth nodded slightly, giving him the go ahead. 

As Marek made his leave for his bedroom, his mind was thinking about what to tell Roman. He knew that he had to talk to him at some point, maybe to try and get some insight on what was going on behind the scenes. Maybe after he got Seth out of the bath, fed, and asleep, he’d call. For now, he settled on a simple, “I’ll explain later” text. 

After picking out a set of clothes, that he hoped fit the other male, he returned to the bathroom. He was pleased to find a more conscious and less shaky Seth waiting for him. The previously void brown eyes gazed up at him, looking slightly sad.

“Hey..,” Marek greeted, taking a seat on the closed toilet. “You feeling any better?”

Seth nodded lightly, whispering a barely audible “yeah.”

“Need help getting cleaned up?” He asked, getting a head shake in return. 

“I got it,” the other man mumbled.

Marek nodded a little as he stayed in his spot, feeling too apprehensive to leave him alone just yet. His eyes followed along as Seth slowly attempted to wash himself, only looking away when he washed his more sensitive areas. The soft call of his name had him kneeling back down beside the bathtub.

“What’s up?”

“Mm can you wash my hair?” Seth asked sleepily.

“Yeah of course.. just turn your head for me,” Marek said as he grabbed his shampoo. It wasn’t the fruity Herbal Essences stuff that Seth was used to, but it was better than nothing. 

The gentle movement of hands through Seth’s hair was enough to relax him further, even leaning into the touch. Marek chuckled softly as he rinsed the soap out of the dark hair. 

“You feeling up to dinner possibly? I can make you whatever you want,” he offered, wiping his hands off on his sweat pants. 

“Mm my belly hurts,” the sleepy voice answered as he was handed a towel. 

“Okay, looks like I’ll put on some soup then,” Marek said, not leaving any room for Seth to argue. He knew there was no way he’d eaten anything remotely good for him in the time he had been missing, that’s if he had eaten at all. It wouldn’t surprise him if he didn’t. He’s had those issues before.. 

So while Seth had dried himself off and gotten dressed, his friend was in the kitchen. Chicken noodle soup would be easy on his stomach, at least that’s what Marek was hoping. Seth needed to get some food in his stomach and some proper rest. Which depending on what kind of state he was in mentally though, sleeping might prove to be difficult for him. 

All in all, their evening together had turned out to be somewhat peaceful. They sat together on the couch, watching reruns of old wrestling matches on the tv. The noodle soup that had been made had been eaten, even if it was only a few bites.

Neither man had talked very much all evening. Marek knew better than to try and push Seth into talking when he was like this. He’d talk when he was ready, which could be a day or weeks from now. And he would be patiently waiting for that day. 

That didn’t meant he wouldn’t try and dig up some dirt though. 

Once the melatonin Marek had given him to relax kicked in, Seth had fallen asleep pretty quick. Not wanting to wake the other male up, he resorted to wrapping a blanket around his friend, watching fondly as he nestled into it. It was only he made sure that he wasn’t getting up anytime soon, that the discarded cellphone was picked up from the nightstand in Marek’s bedroom. 

There had been two messages from Roman, one responding to his message prior and the other stating that he wasn’t going to tell Dean. Instead of texting out a reply, he let his thumb hover over the call button before finally pressing. He was greeted with a few rings before the Samoan finally picked up. 

“Marek..” Roman greeted quietly into the phone. 

“Hey Roman,” he greeted back, sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“Is he.. is he alright?” came the unsure question that he had been waiting for the whole night. 

“Well.. I guess for the moment he is.”

“Where did you find him?”

“He showed up on my front porch. I was eating lunch when I heard a thud against my door.. at first I thought maybe it was just a kid playing a prank. When I checked though, I found Seth curled up on my welcome mat. And I’m not gonna lie to you Roman, he looked like shit. Didn’t look like he was sleeping or eating much at all. He was covered in mud and cuts, and just.. yeah. It was bad,” he explained, hearing a pained sigh from the man on the other line.

“I never wanted things to turn out this bad..,” Roman said, voice barely a whisper.

“I can give you a little bit of insight, if you do the same.. what happened before he went missing?” Marek questioned, moving back on the bed so he could rest against the headboard. 

“Well, I don’t know how much he’s actually told you, or if he told you anything at all.. but he and Dean hit a huge rough patch a couple months ago. Dean’s ex, Renee, came back into his life and announced that they were having a baby, and Seth just hasn’t really been the same person since. I had to take care of him most of the time. Dean had been off with Renee, keeping her comfortable and such while Seth was alone. I wasn’t ever told much about why he can’t be alone for very often. I know that Dean knows, but obviously he wasn’t there to ask,” Roman had started as Marek listened contently.

“Just recently they ended up having their baby, and it’s like the rope that Seth was hanging onto just snapped. He had mouthed off to Dean about not caring about his baby. It made Dean all defensive and he shoved him.. in the middle of a Starbucks.. that was the last time either of us had seen or heard about him, until now of course,” he had finished, allowing Marek a chance to talk.

“So this all started over the fact that Dean was having a baby?” Marek questioned as he tried to process everything Roman had told him. 

“Pretty much. He told me before how he had wanted that with Dean someday. But it bothered him that they couldn’t have a biological kid together. For some reason it just kind of took a toll on him I guess.”

“I can tell you this much, because now that I know what happened, it all makes sense,” Marek started. “Seth has had problems managing his stress and his anxiety his whole life. When something upsets him to the point where he starts to stress out about it, he slowly starts to breakdown. He can’t function properly. He gets depressed, his anxiety goes through the roof, he isn’t able to sleep, he gets moody and extremely paranoid.”

“The one time he had a nervous breakdown when we were teenagers, he isolated himself. He didn’t leave his room for about four days. His mom and I were the only people to be able to get through to him.”

“Is there any way to help him?” Roman asked shakily.

“Well for starters, you have to be patient with him. He’s hurting so he tends to lash out a little. But the more I sit here and think about it, I think it’s time I talk to him about seeing a doctor, or even therapy.. I know there’s things he can do from him, like exercise, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, and such.”

“Do you think I’d be able to come see him at some point?”

“Yeah, just give him a day or two to regain his bearings. Then I’ll talk to him about it.”

“Okay.. what about Dean?”

“I really don’t know,” Marek trailed off. “I’m thinking when Dean pushed him, that’s when things came to a head. But I don’t really know. It’s probably best to keep him away for awhile, considering he was the one that pushed him and caused the mess in his mind. Until Seth can come to terms with things, at least.”

“I guess you’re right.. what should I tell him?”

“I wouldn’t tell him just yet, if I were you. But you can truly do whatever you’d like.”

Not much long after, they were both giving their goodbyes. Marek, of course, promised to keep Roman up to date on how Seth was coming along. 

After a quick peek into the living room to make sure Seth was still asleep, he got to gathering an assortment of blankets. It was probably best not to leave him alone for the first few nights. So he brought it on himself to quietly move the coffee table enough to make a makeshift bed on the floor, right in front of the couch. That way if Seth needed him, he was right there. 

As he got himself settled, a few thoughts drifted through his mind. How was he going to fix this? What was going to happen between him and Dean? How was he going to bring up the subject of seeing a doctor without upsetting Seth? 

He sighed a little as he turned onto his side, shutting his eyes. There was always tomorrow morning to worry about these things after all.

———————————————————

Dean knew Roman was hiding something.

His Samoan best friend had never been really good at hiding things. He’d get a little twitchy, stutter more, and start to sweat. So the sweat stains underneath Roman’s arms came as no surprise to Dean. But they did make him somewhat curious. 

He let it go for the most part of the day, instead focusing on tending to his daughter. Apparently to Renee, all she did was scream and cry and squirm around. It wasn’t the case for Dean. Avery laid contently on his chest, sleeping quietly for the most part of the afternoon. When she was awake, she ate for him, watched some cartoons with him, and was nice and calm. Maybe this whole fatherhood thing wasn’t so hard after all..

Except that he couldn’t get the thought of Seth helping him raise a baby out of his head.

Actually he just couldn’t get Seth out of his head. 

For someone who said that he loved him, he sure didn’t act like it these past few months. And it was eating away at Dean. Especially with him knowing that Seth couldn’t handle stress well. It had been one of the first things that the younger male had told him right in the beginning of their relationship. Dean all but kicked him where it hurt.

As much as he tried not to let his mind wander, he couldn’t help it as Roman disappeared after dinner. The stutter had also returned as he slipped out of the room and into the bathroom. Dean had almost went to put his ear to the door until Roman turned the shower on, the sound of the water drowning out any kind of conversation. 

“That fucker,” Dean muttered to himself as he drug his tired body back to the living room. 

He was determined to find out what Roman was hiding, even if he had to pry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of like a part 2 to the last chapter. If ya like it, leave a comment :)


End file.
